My chakras are coming to terms with my life
I know I have taken really long to finally sit down with my testimonial. The best time to write it would have been the time when my Chakra Healing sessions were going on, or maybe not. Now is the right time! Lol. I could have written a novel in those four and a half months. I can still write one! It takes a lot of push for me to write or read something.
I started my sessions with Chetna in October end. If I am asked to pick one thing that the sessions changed in me was that I started appreciating myself which includes appreciating the way I look too. There were days when I would have eureka moment and I would feel “oh my god! What an amazing person I am” or “wow! I have a beautiful voice!” One day I suddenly fell in love with myself, with the person I am and I got over that low self-esteem mode. It actually felt like ki bohot der se band bulb jal gaya ho. Ok, all these feelings put together may give an impression to the readers that they are reading about a self-obsessed person or a narcissist. Haha! But, the changes happened gradually. It took four and a half months to get done with Chakra Healing sessions and the progress or the effect still continues.
Ok, let’s start from the beginning. I had been thinking of meeting Chetna ever since I came to Mumbai for my masters in June. I was coming out of a bout of depression and the transition was not easy. October was the month that finally triggered the decision to meet Chetna. The entire month I was extremely irritated. It was irritation mixed with anger – a dangerous combination. I tried keeping my temper down but I was not able to help it. I still do not understand why that irritation was triggered because mid August to September was a great time. I starting feeling happy in college, started making friends, I was doing well in class, my internship in September turned out to be a great experience. And, I almost decided that I don’t have to meet Chetna now. But sometimes one may be happy but that doesn’t mean one is free from the baggage. And that baggage of emotions can be triggered anytime by anything. So the irritation and anger was triggered and it happened for good which lead me to Chakra Healing sessions. In my opinion saying “go for a run” or “heavy physical exercise will help” are oversimplifications of the battle the mind is fighting. Chetna turned out to be not just a healer for me but also a life coach. Some of the things she said just clicked with me and it happened from the first day.
I was avoiding going to the parlour to get rid of my facial hair because I did not want to conform to the societal norms of beauty. It never affected my confidence but until I met Chetna I didn’t realise that it did consume a little portion of my mental energy. By the end of October I started getting tired of this battle that I was fighting with myself. Now when I look back I feel may be at some level it was an ego fight with myself in the mirror that ok, this is me and I am going to be like this. Later I realised that the girl with facial hair is not my identity. I have to stop looking at myself like that. The perspective shift that Chetna gave me was amazing. It’s difficult to reiterate what she says. It’s only something one can experience after having a conversation with her. The next day after my first session with Chetna I went to the parlour for waxing and got a hair cut for the first time in my life. I followed what Chetna said “choose your battles. Save your energy.” And I felt awesome.
In those four months I bought a new phone after 6 years, I bought clothes, I relaxed about spending (trust me, this relaxation was much needed), I gained confidence in general and in particular about my singing. Since October I have always left my hair open (I never did that before), I became more comfortable with my body (my inhibitions about my body reduced), I haven’t experienced anger triggering irritation. Another reason for the irritation was the want for romantic and sexual life but now after the Chakra Healing sessions I just focus on my desire to have a nice romantic life and an amazing partner (there is no need to be frustrated about it); that dissatisfaction has ended (my chakras are coming to terms with my life). And the craziest thing for me was asking my crush out for coffee. These are small changes but when life has been stuck for 4 years – in fact it was not stuck, I made it stuck by calculating my worth on the basis of what I have been doing in life (on career front) and arriving at a conclusion that I am not worthy of a new phone or clothes and I should not think of getting into relationship as I have not been able to achieve anything. I was in a space of zero self worth. I completely forgot that I have a personal life too, that I have worth as a person and how much of a support I am to my friends and how much joy I give to my parents. Chetna, as my healer helped me through this transition phase. I am slowly and gradually coming out of the self-doubt and low confidence phase. I have made a remarkable improvement.
Anjan Mehrotra is a lawyer. She has recently completed her Masters degree from the Tata Institute of Social Studies and is passionate about social issues.